February 21, 2023
This is the second of a monthly Blog series dedicated to my wife Cynthia, who died last November.
Cynthia had fabulous wisdom when it came to relationships.
These short monthly ‘tidbits' are as much from her as they are from me!
I think they apply to relationships of all kinds….couples, family, friends, work colleagues.
Who knows….maybe even someone you meet for the first time, or from a long time ago?
Conversation and Memory
"All love and meaningful relationships are comprised of two essential things- conversation and memory”
…a paraphrase from family psychiatrist Salman Akhtar
Listen to this this conversation!
Cynthia: “Do you remember the time we brought all those rocks for the garden back from Pancake Bay?”
John: “ Yeah, I sure do. You came up with the idea that we should take the canoe across the bay and load it up with rocks from the beach on the point!”
Cynthia: “ Do you remember Abbey (our dog) sitting on top of the rocks and nearly tipping us over on the way back?!”
John: “ I remember more the looks of the local campers from Sault Ste. Marie when we landed on the beach with our canoe 'barge' and the pointed question they asked us:
…”Don’t you guys have any rocks in southern Ontario?!!!”
Conversation and memory.
They go together.
When we are conversing, we're connecting with one another.
Our conversation and the words we choose to share are one of the essential ways we have of relating to others.
And when we are actively creating memories with one other, we have stories to tell for a lifetime, and more.
Our memories are made from the experience of spending time, vacationing, living alongside, and doing things with others.
Memories spark the conversation.
The conversation tells the story of the memories.
I'm still doing that with Cynth, surprisingly enough!
I just came back from a long walk in the woods.
So many memories I shared in my head with her about the walks we've had together...
When we first met...on our countless camping trips in the park...on the beach at Punta Cana...and through the hallways of the hospital during her illness.
Conversation and memory.
That story of the canoe trip full of rocks from Pancake Bay will live on forever!
What about you?
What conversations are you having and memories are you making with the people in your lives this week?
And when have you last asked someone the question: “Do you remember the time…?"
Let me know when I next see you!
